Inspired by the Bayeux Tapestry and the meme, this pattern features medieval figures, a topsy-turvy house, and a barren field, devoid of all fucks. The font is a recreation of the original tapestry-look writing, and the whole pattern is enclosed within a maroon border.


"Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren"


**Now includes Old English text version, translated by the amazing Kate R and female figure and alternate skin / hair colours** Don't want to stitch it? Buy it ready-made, here: Or buy it as a kit, here:


Please note, this is a PDF pattern, NOT a finished item!


This will produce a stitched piece approximately 14" x 8.5" on 14 count Aida. You will need 13 different thread colours: we have recommended some DMC thread colours in the pattern, but you can use whichever colours you prefer. For a 10" x 8" version, see here:


You will receive five PDF files:

• 'How to Cross Stitch' guide including all stitches you will need for this project

• US Letter PDF pattern (Original Version)

• A4 PDF pattern (Original Version)

• US Letter PDF pattern (Old English Version)

• Alternate female figure plus skin / hair colour variations

All pattern files feature 3 versions of the pattern: black symbols, colour symbols, black symbols on coloured squares. There are many other files, including no backstitching, A4 and US versions, colour, black & white etc. These will be available to download from the website after purchase, but please get in touch if you require a different version.


All patterns are designed and created by Helen of Fandom Cross Stitchery; please do not redistribute or sell my designs.

Field of Fucks Cross Stitch PDF Pattern


Canvas size (196 x 116 stitches):

  • 14 count: 14" x 8.3"
  • 18 count: 10.9" x 6.4"
  • 20 count: 9.8" x 5.8"