Inspired by the Bayeux Tapestry and the meme, this pattern features medieval figures, a topsy-turvy house, and a barren field, devoid of all fucks.  The font is a recreation of the original tapestry-look writing, and the whole pattern is enclosed within a slightly wonky maroon border.


"Behold the field in which I grow my fucks.  Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren"


Please note, this listing is for a pattern to help you create your own cross stitch. It is NOT a finished item!  You will receive digital (PDF) files, not a physical item. If you would like to buy a kit of this pattern, please click here.



Size: 140 x 112 stitches (10” x 8” on 14 count Aida)

Thread Colours: 13

Difficulty: Intermediate / Confident beginner

Stitches used: full crosses, backstitching, French knots (can be omitted / substituted)


You will receive: seven (7) PDF files

  • 'How to Cross Stitch' guide including all stitches you will need for this project
  • US Letter-sized pattern
  • A4-sized pattern
  • US Letter-sized pattern spread over 2 pages
  • A4-sized pattern spread over 2 pages
  • Pattern Keeper-compatible pattern
  • Alternate female figure plus skin / hair colour variations

Each file features the pattern as black symbols, colour symbols, and black symbols on colour squares (see sample).


You will need:

  • Fabric (we recommend 14 count Aida cloth)
  • Embroidery thread / floss (pattern lists DMC brand colour codes but you can use any type)
  • Embroidery / Tapestry needle (blunt-ended)
  • Scissors / thread snips


You may find helpful:

  • Embroidery hoop (to maintain fabric tension whilst working
  • Magnetic needleminder (we sell a selection)


Field of Fucks (10" x 8") Cross Stitch Pattern


Once you check out, you will receive a confirmation email detailing your order.  Within 24hrs I will send you a second email containing your files.

Unfortunately, the UK government has made it very difficult (and expensive!) for small businesses like myself to automate this process, so for the forseeable future it all has to be done manually.

If you would prefer an instant download (i.e. being redirected to a link immediately after checkout), please visit our Etsy store!